Emerging from mid-life invisibility

Midlife is a time when we are sometimes forced to let go of the old. It can be brutal and unforgiving. There comes a time when – woman or man – we can’t call ourselves quite as ravishing as before, years ago. At least in the eyes of our youth-worshipping culture.

I adore this post that I’m sharing with you today. I love the way Claudette has expressed so much in a single piece of heartfelt writing. I totally get where she is coming from, though not in the same way, because we are individuals worlds apart. There is so much wisdom and self-knowledge here.

Being a midlife mother working in the home says a lot about how she’d come to feel this way. Being a mother to teens adds volumes to that feeling (might as well define invisible). Being in a long-term relationship could well be another layer to the cloak. It’s a classic midlife female thing – but maybe men too have their own version? I know many of you will relate. I’d love to know your responses to the questions she raises – where do you get your self-esteem and self-image? You’ll find my answers on Claudette’s blog. Read on if you dare!

Writer of Words etc

Years ago something apparently insignificant happened to me. Since I’ve been thinking about it on and off for years, perhaps it wasn’t so insignificant after all.

I have some thoughts.

I am, after all, a writer and this is a blog and I like to hurl words about my thoughts out into the internet. 🙂

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New decade, new name!

Unleashing the Cougar is no more

Welcome, everyone, to the new-look me! You can expect the same sassy attitude, thoughtful, soul-searching articles, and sexy, authentic stories as you’ve enjoyed for the past two and a bit years since I launched this blog in September 2017.

My new home page tells the story about why I’ve moved away from the whole cougar thing, but just between you and me, I always felt it was a bit of a liability.

For the long term, it was not an identity that resonated, especially since I now have a partner who’s a member of my own generation! And for those of you new to my story, I met him online. You can read about it here.

It’s been at least 18 months since I even thought of a pretty young thing. Nothing against younger men – they can still turn my head – but when I found myself single after a long, long marriage, it was an itch I needed to scratch.

I married young. When I was last single, I was in my late teens. I guess it’s only natural (and not uncommon) that I defaulted again to younger men, sometimes a lot younger! I experimented with living poly solo for a couple of years, and during that time had several ongoing relationships with men significantly my junior. The closest was my intimate partner who was half my age.

It was quite a journey into dating again as an adult, an awful lot of disappointing sex with new partners (and some good times too), new friendships, and a few meaningful but rebellious relationships. I needed to question everything and give voice to the stifled young woman who’d played wife and mum for too long.

Those three-plus years dating again helped me to realise that I am, in fact, in mid life. And that’s OK. I’m getting closer, as I get older, with accepting who I am NOW – not who I was at 18, or 25 or 38. My life is still a work in progress, as is this blog, which I will gradually hone to distance myself from the ‘cougar’ notion and name.

I’ve got a ripper of a feature interview coming up next, so stay tuned, check your inbox and catch you soon!

bustier pic