Emerging from mid-life invisibility

Midlife is a time when we are sometimes forced to let go of the old. It can be brutal and unforgiving. There comes a time when – woman or man – we can’t call ourselves quite as ravishing as before, years ago. At least in the eyes of our youth-worshipping culture.

I adore this post that I’m sharing with you today. I love the way Claudette has expressed so much in a single piece of heartfelt writing. I totally get where she is coming from, though not in the same way, because we are individuals worlds apart. There is so much wisdom and self-knowledge here.

Being a midlife mother working in the home says a lot about how she’d come to feel this way. Being a mother to teens adds volumes to that feeling (might as well define invisible). Being in a long-term relationship could well be another layer to the cloak. It’s a classic midlife female thing – but maybe men too have their own version? I know many of you will relate. I’d love to know your responses to the questions she raises – where do you get your self-esteem and self-image? You’ll find my answers on Claudette’s blog. Read on if you dare!

New decade, new name!

Unleashing the Cougar is no more

Welcome, everyone, to the new-look me! You can expect the same sassy attitude, thoughtful, soul-searching articles, and sexy, authentic stories as you’ve enjoyed for the past two and a bit years since I launched this blog in September 2017.

My new home page tells the story about why I’ve moved away from the whole cougar thing, but just between you and me, I always felt it was a bit of a liability.

For the long term, it was not an identity that resonated, especially since I now have a partner who’s a member of my own generation! And for those of you new to my story, I met him online. You can read about it here.

It’s been at least 18 months since I even thought of a pretty young thing. Nothing against younger men – they can still turn my head – but when I found myself single after a long, long marriage, it was an itch I needed to scratch.

I married young. When I was last single, I was in my late teens. I guess it’s only natural (and not uncommon) that I defaulted again to younger men, sometimes a lot younger! I experimented with living poly solo for a couple of years, and during that time had several ongoing relationships with men significantly my junior. The closest was my intimate partner who was half my age.

It was quite a journey into dating again as an adult, an awful lot of disappointing sex with new partners (and some good times too), new friendships, and a few meaningful but rebellious relationships. I needed to question everything and give voice to the stifled young woman who’d played wife and mum for too long.

Those three-plus years dating again helped me to realise that I am, in fact, in mid life. And that’s OK. I’m getting closer, as I get older, with accepting who I am NOW – not who I was at 18, or 25 or 38. My life is still a work in progress, as is this blog, which I will gradually hone to distance myself from the ‘cougar’ notion and name.

I’ve got a ripper of a feature interview coming up next, so stay tuned, check your inbox and catch you soon!

bustier pic