OK let’s rename ‘foreplay’ sex so we can all relax and forget about the ‘main game’ of penetration! The main game is sexual intimacy and pleasure. It’s connection and stimulation, arousal through words, touch and emotion. We don’t need to be ‘in love’, but to have good sex we need respect, empathy and joy in touch. This article is one of many I have just discovered and I absolutely love it. Go the advice for men to woo women! Go the guy who says that men can come anywhere, any time, but that women need a bit of special attention – starting with the right attitude. Read on if you dare.
Great Sex = Great Foreplay
For some reason or another, I decided at some point to give my girlfriend foreplay every single time we became intimate. Whether in my bedroom, in a hotel room, in the car or on a hike, my foreplay begins every session of sexual intimacy.
I have distilled these rules for you as a quick guide.
1. As a man, foreplay is something you must always give.
While it is very arousing for your woman to give you a little handjob, blowjob, or intimate licking before the act, it is absolutely key that you always give her some sort of foreplay.
2. You can never give too much foreplay.
While the male sexual experience is based on the culmination ejaculation, the female sexual experience happens in the sustained intimacy. Whether raw and wild, or slow and sensual, your surest way of sustaining her feelings of intimacy…
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(Midlife) Adventures in 21st Century Dating & Mating 
It’s about feeling understood by someone, and that they feel good that I am present for them.
Journey from head to the heart stuff. How many definitions are there for ‘sex’ anyway?
I personally can’t be bothered pretending to like someone if I don’t. I don’t know that objectification actually helps someone…. and I guess sex should be with the intent of leaving your partner better off for the time and energy invested.
Ie; where is the enjoyment if your lover isn’t having a great experience.
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Pity there aren’t more men like you in the world Coyote 🙂
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Am over it today C. I just copped some Mediterranean walrus at the pool following me and staring at me. I didn’t feel flattered. I am sure he tells himself he’s a gangster though I was just empathizing with you ladies who have to put up with it daily.
Wasn’t in the mood… pardon the pun.
As a gay mate once said to me when I put the grog 19 years ago and I questioned him helping me… he said coyote if I wanted a younger man I could do a lot better than you.
Being a Leo I said hang on… what do you mean BETTER THAN ME???
Respect is often spoken about my friend and I guess we all the other divisions are obsolete when we stand side by side with others protecting values.
Thanks for the vote of support. I get so worn down x
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I understand Coyote. So do we all, but focus on the present and holding your head up because you are a good person. And tell that walrus to bugger off 😉
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They make a career out of saying we imagine it. They are very clever at never outing themselves and never make the same mistake twice.
As Bob Dylan said in Tangled up in Blue….
😪🙃😏
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Foreplay gets boring really quickly for me… I wonder at times if there is something wrong with me…
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Well we all go through phases in our lives, and the people we are with have such a huge influence. There is also the space we are in inside, in our heads. This guy has some very accurate things to say on his website about how multi-layered women are and how much we store in our heads at any given moment.
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My wife has Intimacy Anorexia. She doesn’t want foreplay or to even be near me afterwards. Sex is already far too intimate for her, and she does everything she possibly can to reduce any intimacy or bonding that might occur. She will usually try to pick a fight immediately prior to sex, and after the sex she always insults me. She also insists that I remain completely silent during sex.
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Woo. That is tough for you. I hate to say the obvious, but has she had some counselling about that, or even better, the two of you to resolve this block? I have heard several variations on this theme and for me it’s obviously a trauma reaction from a past violation/abuse. That kind of reaction and all those negative feelings have to come out sometime – better to do it in a healthy, respectful way. I’m sure you don’t feel good about this pattern or the insults 😦
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When I put the grog down sorry.
Here’s to the real people thus far x
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Yeah I got that from the context 🙂
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I love foreplay. Sometimes I feel there should be an option to “let’s have sex” to “let’s have foreplay then sleep”. If that’s how people actually speaks lol..
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Great idea! Or, as I suggested, let’s just forget the whole idea of sex being A + B = C (being penetration) 🙂
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