It’s no secret that I’ve fallen for a beautiful man who has continued to show me the kind of love I didn’t believe existed – or if I acknowledged it, that kind of love was for other, more fortunate souls.
Before him, I was stuck in the spirit-depleting online dating world meeting liars, cheats, emotionally vacant men, or men who were afraid of commitment, or simply at different life stages, mismatched with my own.
He’s shown me the kind of love most people dream of in their innermost selves where they long to be accepted for who they are, with no veneer or front worth hiding behind, no pretension of being someone you’re not. The kind of love where declarations are backed up by actions and deeds that speak louder than words.
The kind of earthly, rooted love that carries on soft, downy wings heavenly feelings of connection and belonging and touch. No bullshit, no lies. Just honesty, vulnerability and… fabulous sex!
Yes, it’s time to add a spark of light because this post I’m sharing today is also dark.
A close call with death is about as dark as it gets for a parent, or even for a partner, lover or friend. But especially for a mother with a precious link to a beloved child who almost didn’t make it.
I’ve spent the past week recovering, building new bridges and caring for my child after we both spent a week in my state’s major hospital. He’s extremely lucky to be alive, and I am doubly blessed (what a trigger for Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light) to have him present in my life, and to have this infinitely valuable second chance to help him recover and go on to lead the life that stretches before him.
But that is his story and today I want to focus on my story.
This is the tale of how my relationship with a man I met on a dating site (Plenty of Fish) has blossomed into something solid and true.
Regular readers will be familiar with my recent journey – meeting him five months ago, when my world changed on the head of a pin. The ready acceptance we both felt that it was the real deal. The fall into divine lust of the kind where you just can’t enough of the feel, the touch, the smell of your beloved. The reveling in skin on skin and the swirling dance of tongues. The glorious touch of his lips on my mouth, and almost every other part of my body.
What followed and grew day by day were the feelings of deep, abiding love for each other, as never before and in a way that heightened our certainty that it was somehow right.
I’ve also shared the minute hairline cracks that appeared where I realised he is, indeed, human. He has flaws, stressors and imperfections. He makes mistakes just like the rest of us. He’s no saint, but he’s the closest I’ve ever been to one.
This is the kind of man I love – a man who put my needs before his own. When he heard what had happened with my son, he moved hell and high water to be by my side within a couple of hours, which was no easy feat in his busy life. It involved complex arrangements by phone calls and a few hours of travel, plus sorting it with his work to take carer’s leave. All so he could give me the kind of support I didn’t even know I needed.
This is the kind of man I love – a man who stayed by my side in the hospital when I was weeping, bedraggled and tear-stained, sitting by my son’s bed waiting for him to regain consciousness. A man who brought me sustenance and held my hand, whose presence next to me spoke louder than any words. Without question, he stayed overnight with me so I wouldn’t have to face this alone. Unlike my son’s father, my beloved was physically and emotionally present, unless it was to run errands across the miles to fetch things we needed and resolve all those awkward and complex needs that arise from leaving your home, by ambulance, in a panic. He walked my dog and fed my other pets. He brought me items to make my stay more comfortable. He held me in the night.
This is the kind of man I love – a man who doesn’t disappear when the going gets tough. He stays with me, keeping in constant touch when we aren’t physically together, but without smothering me. There are no games, no silences, no absences, no lateness or missed plans. He is as reliable as the sunrise and just as beautiful. He listens with full attention and consideration to my fears, my news, my anxieties as well as my hopes and ideas. He reassures me that he’s there for me and he worries on my behalf. He is one hundred per cent fully invested in me and our life together.
This is the kind of man I love – he treats me like a goddess, as the most precious person on the planet, his divine love, but he doesn’t dehumanise me or put me on a pedestal. I don’t have to be perfect in mind, body or soul for him to love and adore me. He strokes me, holds me, cuddles me, kisses me with reverence and with desire. His touches alight my blood, set astir my lust, his fingers on my nipples send me into silent (or noisy) paroxysms of arousal. His tongue in my mouth stirs a long-dormant primal sexuality. His desire to please me surprises me every time he patiently works my body bringing me to climax after climax, to heights never before experienced. He is a man who’s not satisfied until I am satisfied, and who will never give up until I erupt into exhausted giggles when my body really can’t take any more unadulterated pleasure. He’s the kind of man who offers his solidity and height to help me feel safe and protected, something I’ve never had the luxury of feeling in my many decades of adult life.
He’s a genuine strong man, and that’s not to say I won’t allow him to have moments of weakness, or vulnerability or fear. I want a human being, not a superman model. I want a man who’s not afraid to be himself, no disguises and no lies.
He doesn’t have to be perfect – he only needs to be genuine, and a real adult, not a man-child or a Peter Pan or any other variation of unavailable or irresponsible.
I didn’t know what I wanted until I met my beloved, and now that we have connected, I realise how much my life has opened up. I feel blessed, every day, to have the love of this man. I am stronger, happier, better.
And this is as good as it gets.
Congratulations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I feel blessed and I am certainly not complacent 🙂
LikeLike
So happy to read this. I want to believe this can be real and I’m glad you’ve found it. I hope your son is ok. ♥️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Yes I agree it’s important to know that real people can find a good match online – maybe it’s just the universe working in mysterious ways?
LikeLiked by 2 people
And how very fortunate he was in your life when you needed him the most.
I hope your son recovers soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, it’s a long road ahead but he’s still here 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds like you have some tough times ahead but also the resources to get through it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not so sure about that – we will have to see 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Always great to have a comment from a new reader 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
No problem! It was an interesting read. Check out my blog when you get the chance 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am very happy for you finding your soulmate and am so glad he was with you during your recent trauma with your son. X
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much Darren. I’m not sure I believe in the notion of soulmates (which does in itself have several definitions) but I definitely believe in loving connection, kindness and the right person at the right time 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so nice to hear happy every afters that work. I read far too many stories of things gone wrong, dissatisfaction. Not enough. I think you’ve done your time and you’re finally somewhere good. I hope it never changes for you…. xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks C. It’s always the great unknown – you can never bank on any relationship always being there – life changes after all. I can only feel blessed and happy with the right now. I do feel that I’ve done my time, especially in a 20+ year marriage with someone very unsuitable and damaging to me. Your journey will have its own rhythm and stages too. Hang in there 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear about your son, I hope he’s doing OK now. Great to hear more about your man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Dater. I will DM you as it’s tricky. I’m always happy to write about my man, but you know the issues I face 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
In its infinite wisdom, MS Edge has decided not to remember your email. If you contact me via my site’s contacts page I can email you again! I noticed you don’t have one so my apologies for the convoluted way of responding in private
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve sent you an email!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, got it 🙂
LikeLike
At last I catch up! He sounds so good- is your son ok?? What a nightmare for every mother…
And how wonderful your man could show up for you so powerfully at that stressful time 🙏🏼
Blessings on you all for 2019, G xx ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much G. My son is still recovering and the road ahead will be a long one, but I am hopeful of support and help. Yes my man is wonderful and this horrible period just before Christmas really showed that actions are powerful, in addition to words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is such a beautiful post! I’m incredibly impressed with your courage and willingness to keep moving forward. Your son!!! Yikes. I’ve had crises with grandees but not my children. Makes one focus on what’s important and not what’s urgent!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your comments. My son is in a much better place now and my partner and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary last week 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow!!! That’s so lovely for you both! Does he know about your blog?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I recently told him about the book behind my blog! It was a big step 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done! I’ve got to tell Naomi yet. She knows everything else. And wow did we have a family closet opening at her brothers yesterday!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t wait for you to write about it! I suggest printing out just the one story (with her in it!) and see how she goes. Maybe set the scene as your digital journal helping you through this phase of your life? Best of luck x
LikeLike
Ta! One step at a time. It feels like we’re racing downhill with no brakes at the moment! I’d send you a photo of her and I but not on WP.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can email me via the contact form here and I’ll reply 🙂
LikeLike
evelawrenceaustralia@gmail.com
LikeLiked by 1 person